May 2012
11 posts
4 tags
Everyone in the class of 2012 is posting about it being the last day of high school… My last day of high school came sophomore year. It should be my last day of high school but instead I’m going to the beach cause I just finished my first year of college. I feel like a bamf but at the same time I feel awkward and just hummppph-y. I don’t know. I have so many feels about this....
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Day 45: when was the last time you tried something new
When Veronica poured honey down my throat about an hour ago. That was new.
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Day 44: when was the last time you wore a dress
Mother’s Day. I wore my Audrey Hepburn dress to dinner.
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Day 43: is it possible to lie without saying a word
I guess there’s a bit of a lie in omission. Especially giving only part of the story. It depends on the situation though. But sometimes not telling someone is very similar and equally as hurtful as lying to them.
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Day 42: what do you think of your driver’s license picture
Its not so bad. Especially compared to my state ID photo.
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Day 41: when was the last time you wrote a letter? to whom?
I honestly can’t say. I haven’t really. Maybe my pen pal when I was a kid in school?
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Day 40: what are features you get complimented on a lot
uhh, my smile. my legs.
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Day 39: why you think you’ve learned more from the good or the bad
I would say the bad but that makes it the good. Any situation that has made me stronger, braver, or better, is ultimately a good thing. Even though I sometimes don’t see it that way myself. I know later on it’ll be true.
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Day 38: thoughts on your generation
I think we need to appreciate more and want less. I think we need to go outside. I think we need to respect ourselves and others. I think we need to think we are less mature and behave with more maturity. I think we need to be patient.
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Day 37: who are you
I’m Laura. I’m Bella. I’m Lola. I’m a sister. I’m a daughter. I’m a friend. I’m an animal lover. I’m a patient. I’m a cheerleader. I’m a softball player. I’m a gamer. I’m a shower singer. I’m a kitchen dancer. I’m a terrible cook. I’m not a planner. I’m a country lover. I’m a...
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I’m going through a really hard time with my health right now and it is really causing me to have an extreme change in my priorities. I go to this completely different place and become a completely different person when I am this sick and I’m not sure if I like it or not. Whats weird is I feel that right now I am the most myself that I have been in a very long time. I’ve stopped...
April 2012
1 post
4 tags
Okay, so, sophomore year of college is rapidly approaching and cheerleading try-outs will be around the end of this month for most schools. I am perfectly aware that with my health where it is currently I am just not physically capable of handling the pressure and physical demands of cheer. So I am setting a new goal for myself: junior year. I refuse to give up on something that means so much to...
March 2012
4 posts
There are some people we meet who will stay with us forever. They come into our lives in unimaginable ways and suddenly they are a part of you. You are inseparable from them. It doesn’t matter where they are, if you speak regularly, if you fight, or if you lose touch. They are you and you are them and you will forever be connected.
I don’t know if I can finish this world lit paper. I really just can’t. I have seven different paragraphs started and I keep adding one sentence to each one and then getting stuck and switching. I guess eventually this will equal a paper but right now it sucks.
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What I should have done today: Read part one of Madame Bovary Write my draft of my proposal argument essay Go to class Shower Study for Econ Read for Philosophy What I did today: Played WoW Ate
I am a success. This is what happens when I am dehydrated and my BP is zero. ><
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I am sitting in my living room crying into my bowl of fruit loops because I will never be a cheerleader again. I knew I lost a lot to my illness but I always believed that I would be able to cheer again in college. Now I am being forced to accept that it can’t happen and I can’t handle it at all. I miss cheerleading so much. People don’t realize how much it becomes a part of you....
February 2012
21 posts
3 tags
I need to do laundry. And shave my legs. And sleep. And pack. I have no idea what to bring to Bradley tomorrow. I have nothing clean. I wont have time to do laundry tomorrow. Ugggh. I feel really bad. My mom is like ‘You played WoW all night and now I have to sleep and go to work in the morning and then you are leaving for the weekend’. Which is true. I was really sick though ><...
Today was so amazing and wonderful. But now I am laying here trying to sleep and I am so tired it is making me sick. I physically hurt I am so tired and the more I am awake the worse it gets and the less sleep is possible. I don’t know what to do. Make it stop.
“You will blame me for the rest of your life if you get a 20 on the ACT cause you...”
– My momma
Please fix me
I’m shaking
Please catch me
I’m falling
Please help me
I’m failing
Please save me
I’m crying
Please heal me
I’m dying
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Day 36: what do you think about your friends
I love them to death. They are few but they are my extended family.
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Day 35: what is your favorite poptart flavor
Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon. Or frosted strawberry.
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Day 34: your horoscope for today and whether you think it’s accurate
Lately you’ve been taking a lot more risks — and have you noticed how much they’ve been starting to pay off? Keep walking on the wild side a bit more today, and you definitely will. The old saying ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ is truer than ever in your life, so venture forth and explore the...
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Day 33: someone who really hurt you
Uhm. I don’t know. There’s been a few.
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Day 32: how many pictures do you have in your room
Uhm… well, five real pictures I guess. One is a collage… I don’t have a lot of pictures.
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Day 31: a bit about your social life outside of tumblr
Uhh. Well. My social life really has nothing to do with tumblr… but anyway. I have a very small group of close friends that I never see. A boyfriend whom I love very much. And my mom, who is my best friend.
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Day 30: 5 favorite girls names, 5 favorite boys names
1. Amelia 2. Saoirse 3. Lorelai 4. Evelyn 5. Isabelle 1. Wyatt 2. Logan 3. Austin 4. Michael 5. Ryland
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Day 29: a date you’d love for someone to take you on
I’m not a big going out girl, but just going to the grocery store and making dinner and cookies and watching a crappy movie. Thats pretty much my favorite night right there.
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Day 28: something that makes you really angry
Uhmm, people who patronize me, especially doctors.
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Day 27: a person you wished lived closer and why
Kellie. I miss when she was right around the corner and we could run to eachother’s houses at any time. I hate never seeing my sister now.
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Day 26: 5 things you’re looking forward to
Spring Break. College applications being done. Summer. Going to a real college. Watching crappy movies with Tyler Saturday night.
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Day 25: the last movie you watched
Uhmmm. Cashback.
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Day 24: your favorite 10 people right now and why
My mom. - She will always be my best friend. Michael. - He is the love of my life. Kellie. - She is my sister. Veronica. - She’s silly and adorable and wonderful. Beverly. - She’s a nice lady. Angelo. - He’s a furry angelface. xD Scott. - He picks out pretty dresses. Tyler. - He has great hair. :P Aidan. - We can jam to Eminem...
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Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why
I think its between third grade and 2012. although give 2012 a little bit longer and it could go either way. A month I was happiest was probably either Mid July-Mid August 2011 or Mid December 2011-Mid January 2012
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Day 22: how you judge intelligence
I guess someones ability to make good decisions, whether they be life decisions or little things. Someone who can converse intelligently, probably well read. Just understanding life and navigating it well and handling themselves well.
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Day 21: what does your favorite tshirt look like
I guess its my Change for the Children t-shirt that has the lyrics to A Little Bit Longer on it. That song helped me through a really hard time and I got that shirt at a concert that I had a really amazing time at and everything about it has a positive association.
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Day 20: what you think makes someone beautiful
I guess a good heart. Someone who cares about people but also can let people make their own choices and support them.
January 2012
23 posts
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Day 19: your thoughts on your family
Most of the time they drive me crazy. We are dysfunctional and chaotic. But my mom is my best friend and I love them all.
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On your path to self destruction you destroyed me.
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Day 18: why you made your blog, why you still have it
Vee and scott told me to. And because I love it now.
Day 17: your idol and why you look up to them
My mom. Cause she worked, took care of my entire family, and was the best friend and advocate I had through everything.
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Day 16: someone you trust
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Day 15: a song that makes you cry and why
The Best Day by Taylor Swift. Because it just gives an excellent description of my relationship with my mother and reminds me of how amazing she has been my entire life and how much I love and appreciate her. It makes my mom cry as well.
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Day 14: write about something you believe in, anything at all
I believe in love. Quite a lot. In fact I think its the reason for all things. All of them. Thats pretty much that. I love, love.
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Day 13: your favorite quote
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.” ―Sylvia Plath
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I can’t wait to be done with all my college applications so I can stop feeling like I am so ridiculously out of place person who should not be applying to college because of all of my ‘special circumstances’. I have never had my illness shoved so far down my throat before. Every other question I have to put in some sort of special answer. Every application is like ‘Hey! Do...
I love you. I’m so sorry. I am trying so hard to not be sick for you. I will be healthy. Just don’t get sick of me please. I love you. Don’t leave.
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Day 12: the best advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given.
I once heard someone say that until you are completely satisfied with your life and yourself, you won’t be able to be happy with someone else. I think that was important, especially at this age, because its so easy to try and depend on someone else for your happiness, but its really something that can only come from you.
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Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given.
There has been a lot of bad advice given to me but I think the worst has been when I was told I should try getting pregnant to improve my medical condition.
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Day 10: what you think when you hear the words “be yourself”.
How insightful and meaningful. This clears up everything. I know exactly how to proceed now…